Incidental victories

As mentioned in a previous post, Noah has decided to become a fussy feeder.  Although we have no firm answers as to why, we suspect it has to do with his reflux and a particularly sensitive gag reflex (likely inherited from his momma).  Each bottle is an exercise in patience and often he will take less than half of what is average for babies his age and weight.  Sometimes, if things really go badly, he will toss the entire contents of his stomach back up, completely negating all the work you just put in trying to get him to eat.

The biggest concern is weight loss... Noah's weight was perfect at his 4-month appointment but he lost 4 ounces during the drama of the last few weeks.  We are slowing inching back to where he was but his eating habits are a serious obstacle.  As the pediatrician put it, Noah "eats to live" rather than "lives to eat."  

It probably comes as no big surprise that I get very emotional when Noah doesn't eat well... feeding him is, of course, one of my primary maternal functions.  Josh tells me not to beat myself up over it and that I am doing everything possible to encourage him to eat... I know this is true but I can't help but feel like I am failing from time to time.   

On the flip side, I also feel victorious when Noah feeds well... last night he was much more successful eating solid food from a spoon and I wanted to shoot off fireworks!  (It would have been a premature celebration as he proceeded to throw up most of what he ate from the spoon, but even that didn't overshadow my elation that he was opening his mouth for the spoon.)  And today, when he finished his bottle, I wanted to shout from the rooftop.  

My neighbor, who has a one year old daughter and a baby on the way, said, "Welcome to Oz!" when we brought Noah home from the hospital.  I am beginning to think that truer words have never been spoken!