Nuggets of wisdom

It had been my intention to compose multiple posts about what I learned while reading, "A Long Obedience in the Same Direction," by Eugene Peterson.  However, life got in the way and I neglected to do so.  

So, here are some of the nuggets of wisdom that I have gained, specifically the ones that spoke to me about our journey with Noah...

On PROVIDENCE (Ps 121):

"The promise of the psalm...is not that we shall never stub our toes but that no injury, no illness, no accident, no distress will have evil power over us, that is, will be able to separate us from God's purposes in us."  p 42

On HELP (Ps 124)

"The psalmist is not a person talking about the good life, how God has kept him out of all difficulty.  This person has gone through the worst--the dragon's mouth, the flood's torrent--and finds himself intact.  He was not abandoned but helped.  The final strength is not in the dragon or in the flood but in the God who 'didn't go off and leave us.'"  p 74

"Faith develops out of the most difficult aspects of our existence, not the easiest."

"We speak our words of praise in a world that is hellish; we sing our songs of victory in a world where things get messy..."  p 79

On PERSEVERANCE (Ps 129)

"That '[God] sticks with us' is the reason Christians can look back over a life crisscrossed with cruelties, unannounced tragedies, unexpected setbacks, disappointments, depressions--look back across all that and see it as a road of blessing, and make a song out of what we see... Perseverance is not a the result of our determination, it is a result of God's faithfulness."  p 133

On HOPE (Ps 130)

"A man or woman of faith who fails to acknowledge and deal with suffering becomes, at last, either a cynic or a melancholic or a suicide."  p 137

"The gospel offers a different view of suffering: in suffering we enter the depths; we are at the heart of things; we are near to where Christ was on the cross." p 138

"We need hope.  We need to know that we are in relation to God.  We need to know that suffering is part of what it means to be human and not something alien.  We need to know where we are and where God is."  p 145

"The psalm does not exhort us to put up with suffering; it does not explain it or explain it away.  It is, rather, a powerful demonstration that our place in the depths is not out of bounds from God."  p 145

End of an Era

I find this highly depressing...

Anheuser-Busch sold to Belgians for $52B

We hope this does not negatively effect our friends in St. Louis who work for A-B.  

New challenges. (As if we didn't have enough already)

1.  We are diving head first into the world of solid foods.  Noah simply cannot consistently keep formula down and he seems to better tolerate baby food.  The first challenge is getting enough food into to him to meet his calories needs... the second challenge is keeping him awake through feedings as food coma seems to set in after two bites.

2.  Noah has developed a new vocal ability... screaming.  Our normally calm and serious little boy has discovered his vocal cords have much more power than he realized.  He has been fine tuning this skill every time I leave the room, put him down, or change his clothes when he isn't in the mood.  Charming.  

3.  I am learning how to wait on the Lord.  Again.  (Haven't I been here before?)  It is clear how God is providing for Josh in his job at Alabama...he is enjoying his new position and all the challenges it entails.   It is even more clear how Noah has been provided for by the doctors, researchers, and his spot in the Rise School.  His provision for me seems to be a little slower in emerging.  I won't lie... I miss St. Louis, I miss my friends, I miss my church.  I have wrestled with God about His reasons for moving us to Alabama.  But, as I was driving to Florida, God worked a little on my bitter heart.  He showed me that, had I been given the choice between staying in St. Louis (where I was comfortable) or going to Alabama (where Noah would be able to attend an amazing school and be close to a scientist researching his mutated gene), I would have chosen the same path He chose.  So, I am resting in the provision He has made for those I love most and awaiting what He has in store for me.

Home again, home again...

I arrived back safe and sound in T-Town yesterday, feeling refreshed except for the large stripe of sunburn across my back.  

(Will I ever learn?)

Noah gave me a half-smile (which is a big deal these days) when he saw me for the first time and then proceeded to welcome me home by puking baby food chicken and prunes all over the place.  Yes, it was as nasty as it sounds!  

The good news was that was the first time he threw up since I left... Josh focused on giving him solid foods and that seemed to get his stomach calmed down to a large extent (at least until I arrived home and Noah felt like he needed to revisit old times).  We are still working to increase his tolerance of the formula as a supplement because it simply has more calories than any of the solid foods.  The battle continues...

Here are a couple pics from my time along the Gulf of Mexico!

An invitation

"Everyone who travels the road of faith requires assistance from time to time.  We need cheering up with spirits flag; we need direction when the way is unclear."

This quote is from Eugene Peterson's "A Long Obedience in the Same Direction: Discipleship in an Instant Society."  I began reading this book yesterday as a part of a women's book club at Capstone Church.  

The book focuses on Psalms 120 - 134, otherwise known as the Song of Ascents.  These psalms were "likely sung, possibly in sequence, by Hebrew pilgrims as they went up to Jerusalem to the great worship festivals."  Peterson, and the psalmist, use the songs as a metaphor of the faith-journey we are on with Christ.

I have read the first two chapters so far and am very intrigued.  If I am sure of anything right now, it is that Josh and I are on a journey where my spirits are flagging and the way is unclear.  I hope and pray that these Psalms and Peterson's insights will illuminate the path and give me the energy I need to continue.  

I wanted to extend the invitation to you to read it with me.  I'm never really sure who is reading this blog, but anticipate sharing what I learn from this book in my posts.  So, if you need a book to read or are intrigued by Peterson's ideas, feel free to join me and comment as you go along.  I'm reading chapters 1-4 this week.  

Unbelievable

As some of you know, I graduated from high school in Iowa City, Iowa. My parents moved to Michigan shortly after I graduated from college, so I don't go back very often, but the town still holds a special place in my heart. I also have many friends who still live in the area.

All of the rain this spring has resulted in massive flooding in many cities in Iowa, including Iowa City. The extent of the flooding is unreal.  I found this video on the Des Moines Register website and thought I would share it here. Please join me in praying for all those affected by this flooding... I don't think the Iowa River is expected to crest until late Monday or early Tuesday.

(Okay... I had to remove the video because the music drove me crazy anytime I went to update the blog or read comments... if you want to see it, click here)

Tired.

I'm tired.

Tired of dealing with insurance companies.

Tired of matching insurance claims to bills.

Tired of filing appeals.

Tired of scrubbing puke out of the carpet, the sofa, Noah's clothes.

Tired of doing laundry.

Tired of worrying about Noah's weight.

Tired of staring at the bottom of the growth chart.

Tired of trying to figure out how to get enough calories into my son.

Tired of having more questions than answers.

Tired of being sad.

Tired of feeling cheated.

Tired of putting on a brave face.

I'm tired.

But then I look at Noah's face.  

And there is no one else's momma I would rather be. 

I will refresh the weary and satisfy the faint.  (Jeremiah 31:25)

Confessions of a sap

It's true.  I am a sap.  

I get teary-eyed very easily.  Always have.

Real-life or fiction, it doesn't seem to matter.  American Idol elimination last night?  Yep... got choked up during every contestant's visit to their home town.  (And David Cook had better win...)  Remember those Hallmark commercials when the mom would anonymously give a card to the lonely man next door... tore me up every time.  

Needless to say, I can barely read sweet stories to Noah like "Guess How Much I Love You" because my voice starts trembling as I try not to cry.  And when I see Josh with Noah, even being silly, I often have to distract myself or risk turning it to a blubbering mess.

These ponderings about my personality come during a morning-long torrential downpour here in Tuscaloosa... the perfect day to relax, drink some Chai Tea Latte, and watch as many movies as I can as I snuggle with my adorable little boy on the couch.  I just sniffled my way through "Akeelah and the Bee" - a great movie, if you haven't seen it.  I was struck by Akeelah's final line in the movie:

"You know that feeling where everything feels right? Where you don't have to worry about tomorrow or yesterday, where you feel safe and know you're doing the best you can? There's a word for that, it's called love."

See... sappy.  But I love it.  In the midst of all the uncertainty with Noah, the craziness of our move to Alabama, the angst of leaving friends and familiarity, there are still days where "everything feels right" because of the love Josh and I have for each other, for Noah, and for the Lord.  Those are the days when I can live fully in the present, enjoying every moment, and letting yesterday and tomorrow take care of themselves.  

Alright.  Enough.  Even my cheese-meter is going off...